Tuesday/Cries
I had written an awesome post about music…however my computer deleted it last night. It did this after I spent over an hour working on it. Anyway…
My phone’s wallpaper now is “When someone cries, it means they were too strong for too long.” I interpret this as the “let it out” and “Don’t bottle things up inside” philosophy. We have to charge right into the thick of the problem and be rather frank with other people if we want something to change. Loosing control for a few minutes is NOT weakness, it is wisdom. We need a release (such as crying) to stay balanced and healthy. “Staying strong” for too long can cause you to explode or fall to pieces at an inappropriate moment (such as while watching the Godfather like I did). A few times in the last few years my parents have come home to discover me surrounded by tissues on the couch absolutely bawling to a movie that wasn’t even sad. Guess I should have cried over that old break up sooner, huh? I have been fortunate not to loose control during anything REALLY inappropriate, such as a cousin’s wedding or something.
So next time you’re sad, CONFRONT IT. Go somewhere private, shed the requisite tears, and then move on. Even just sorting your thoughts over an occurance can help. However, if you don’t…well it will catch up with you.
I’m a girl, so crying was my example. However, any (healthy) outlet is helpful. Go ahead and fall apart a bit sometimes, that way you can get back up and rebuild. We’re all just working on getting closer to closure. Good luck to everyone.
Monday/Relationships
Today I’ve been thinking about friends and relationships. Broken ones that have hurt people, damaged ones that require careful consideration before they are fixed, and sick ones that are starting to wither. How do you separate them? Organize them in tidy rows to be puzzled and deciphered?
The broken ones are best left destroyed. They do not help in any way and only make everyone involved miserable. Yet, we still try, don’t we? We try to hold on to something/someone familiar or the way something used to be. We think we can get them back, but we actually can’t. This is when we say “thanks for the memories, even if they weren’t so great..” and LEAVE. A clean break works best.
The damaged ones still have a chance. If there was a misunderstanding or other unorthodox circumstances that are not permanently irreparable. BUT they need to be handled with care and cauton. Are they worth it? How bad were the things they said/did? Do you even still want them in your life? Sometimes you don’t want to go through the trouble so you “forgive and forget” rather than stick up for yourself. NO ONE deserves this! We all deserve to be empowered, NOT trampled. Stick to your guns, if you feel it can’t be fixed, it can’t. Move on and find someone better for you.
Sick relationships is a term I use loosely. They are unwell…but only slightly. Like the relationship has the flu. This could refer to a fight, disagreement, or “rough patch.” It does have a lot of potential to be “healed,” but you must decide if it will be a reoccuring problem. Will you be mad when he once again causes you embarrassment and hurt by looking at other girls when he’s dating YOU? Will you still be annoyied when she leaves her “girly stuff” all over your shared space? Are they willing to fix the problem is the most important question you must ask yourself.
Those are my thoughts for today. All I have to say now is “A bad break-up is like a broken mirror. It’s better to leave it broken than hurting yourself trying to fix it.” Quoth my phone’s wallpaper this week.
Sunday.
Today I was reading my new (and cherished) copy of “Chicken Soup for the college soul.” I still can’t believe I found it at the Goodwill for $0.99. However, it has raised some worries for me.
Will my roommate be messy? Loud? An awful person that will make my whole year difficult? Will my classes be huge? Homesickness overwhelm me? My parents forget about me and the closeness we all treasure? Will college be boring? Too exciting? To difficult? Will the other students be mean? The professors? The staff? Will my dorm be small and stifling? Etc, etc, etc.
But then I get excited again! The adventure! Knowledge, new friends, new experiences, a new town! I want it all, and hopefully it will be worth the wait and strife. I keep imagining a friday night with my new friends relaxing in a coffee shop and listening to an up-and-coming band. They would tease me because I still won’t like coffee, and I would tease them about not loving reading as I do and getting excited when walking into a bookstore or library. College won’t be about clothes or cliques, it will be an adventure where I will learn and grow. I want the whole college experience…but am afraid of failures and disappointments. I will be young, and alone for the first time, but I will succeed no matter what. I will conquer!
My 1st blog!
To start with:
1. I am a perfectionist, A.K.A. Grammer+Spelling Nazi. I am deeply bothered when people spell things incorrectly.
2. This is my first non-school related blog.
3. I am a Senior in High School.
4. I will attempt to write my thoughts here for the duration of the next year.
We shall see how it goes! 
~E.R.
